Markey Writes

No matter where you are in the world, it feels as though people are starting to transition into a new ‘normal’ – pandemic-wise at least. We are making choices about how we can exist within the reality of an ongoing pandemic or post-pandemic world. I’ve been listening to a number of podcasts and news stories about the fact that humans have been existing in this ‘heightened’ reality for the past two and a half years and it has initiated an almost flight or fight mechanism within us most of the time. This fact has done strange things to our brains, our day-to-day thinking and how we function in our immediate lives. One expert expressed it as the absolute loss of short-term memory. That when someone is in a highly stressful situation, it is almost like going into shock, where your brain protects your body from feeling the excruciating pain of what is actually happening to you in that moment. This makes sense to me. I lose thoughts constantly and HAVE to write everything down or it won’t get done. I’m sure the sleep deprivation of having a new baby doesn’t help either, but this explanation resonates with me and what I have been feeling lately.

What seems to have occurred is that our brains have been working to protect us, our intuitive nature realized that something so serious, so detrimental to our health had happened, that we needed to redirect our brain-power to staying focused on the immediate and shut out the thinking beyond. But to exist within a ‘heightened’ or flight or fight state for an extended period of time, may have consequences we don’t yet understand.

Now that we are moving into a new phase of our lives, we are beginning to raise our heads out of this cloud of fog that is the pandemic. I think there is a real sense of impact of the pressure, stress, anxiety and the hard years we have just passed through. Relationships that were strained during the past few years, but just pushed through, are now really being tested to their limits.

For us, we are thinking deeply about the impact on our kids, our relationship and what the future looks like for all of us. Social interactions, who we spend time with, who we don’t spend time with, how we deal with our own struggles without the usual support networks. This is real. This is hard, friend. Fucking hard. No one said life was easy, but also, no one said a pandemic would hit when we had three little kids.

I want to leave with a few thoughts about what comes next and how to take baby steps forward in this new reality.

1. Give yourself a break. This time is unprecedented and so many of us just did our best to stay safe and keep our heads above the water. No ones perfect, and the stress has been felt by all.
2. Find time for things that are important, even the small things. What would have been insignificant such as playdates for our kids are now more important than ever. In some way, our bubble just grew. We see overall fewer people in general, but have held tight to those that we love and have prioritized those that make sense in our lives and the lives of our children.
3. Set goals for the future. I think one of the hardest things during the pandemic was the impact on time. We were left having no sense of when things would end, what the end would look like and how long we had to live in this limbo of isolation. We need things to look forward to, activities, outings, special time, trips – whatever it is, it is essential more now than ever. In our house, we have taken to trying to plan one thing per month and talk about those as positives in our near future. This helps.

Until next time.